the year of the soft man

the rise of the emotional mvps

as 2024 comes to an end, i can’t help but look back at one of my favorite trends of the year: the rise of the 'soft man.'

this year, we saw men embracing emotional vulnerability, ditching outdated masculinity norms, and proving that kindness is, indeed, sexy. in 2024, it felt like we collectively decided enough was enough with toxic masculinity. this year, men stepped into the spotlight for their emotional intelligence, thoughtfulness, and ability to actually listen—and it was nothing short of revolutionary. from travis kelce to ted lasso, soft men have been thriving—and honestly? we’re all better for it.

but before i get to that, i think (i know) we can all agree on one thing: we want men written by women. we want men who listen. who love. who show vulnerability and support out loud (mhmm, i am indeed talking about travis kelce—but more on that below). we want men so in touch with their emotional side it makes us look mean because they know more about their feelings than we do

baseline? we want love!!! the bare minimum.

a few weeks ago, i wrote a piece about men who hate women (see link below), and now it’s time to change the narrative. this one is for the men who loveeeee women, who see them, know them, and actually listen. this one’s for the soft man. this was their year, and i’m here for it.

about the men who hate women

so, what exactly is a soft man? it’s not an insult, though some people might try to use it that way. it’s a celebration of men who are breaking out of the tired, rigid ideas of masculinity. these are men who lean into sensitivity, empathy, and emotional openness. they’re not afraid of vulnerability, and honestly? that’s what makes them irresistible.

see, i was scrolling through tiktok the other day (so out of character for me, i know), and i saw this dude bro flexing his abs in a gym mirror while spouting some nonsense. immediate scroll (and eye-roll). but then i saw a cute chef with a cute dimple, flipping a pan of olive oil, and suddenly i was liking it, reposting it, sending it to my friends. that’s what we want.

another thing that struck me recently—and i haven’t stopped thinking about it—my husband’s (male) friend called him the other day to make plans or whatever (i wasn’t paying attention). but i did catch that at the end of the call, his friend said ‘love you’ and my husband answered ‘love you’ before hanging up.

i don’t know why, but this struck me as both cute and odd at the same time. i wanted to kiss my husband’s face because of the cuteness and genuineness of the simple action.

or when his friends call him to ask for advice, any kind of advice. I love that, too.

then my feed hits me with edits of travis kelce talking about girlfriend taylor swift and saying the most mundane things like, “that’s my girl.” and i’m swooning. like actual, literal swooning. smiling at my screen like an idiot. (hello this is the fucking bare minimum??)

could this phenomenon of travis kelce and taylor swift be so special to us girlies (swifties and even non-swifties) because we love seeing a woman loved the right way? not to talk shit or anything (but aren’t i???) but this is the first time in such a long time that we’ve seen a man show off taylor swift. i mean, are you aware that you’re dating the taylor swift? and travis is completely aware and is giving us what all women want and deserve: attention, praise, and the best edits my phone has seen in a while.

now to get a little onto the, how shall i say it, hmmmm... intimate part?